I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
