Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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