Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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