shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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