i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
