found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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