I wanna bring you to show and tell
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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