jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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