i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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