You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
