I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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