hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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