I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
