He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
