He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
