I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
