he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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