I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
