our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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