She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
