the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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