My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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