Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
