Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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