Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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