Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
