can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
