Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
