Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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