Im at strip club and am horny
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
