And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I came so hard my ears popped.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
