She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
