Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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