Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
