I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Farmville is her only friend.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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