Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
