Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
