the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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