In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
