I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
