4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
