Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
