I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
