So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
