I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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