it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
