Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
