no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
