So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
