i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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