Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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