so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
